Super Mario High School
by PeskyPlumber
Summary: Mario, Toadette, Bowser, and more in crazy school drama, passionate romances, and crazy cliffhangers, with Dr. Hoshi as their main teacher and Nintendo's Lightning as the punching bag! Both Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha end up as janitors while Toadsworth serving as the principal? Things will suck at the Mushroom Kingdom High School... Originally written by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus.


BAN: This was written by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus outside of a new bit at the very end, with it getting a huge change in structure.

* * *

 **Mario High School by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus**

"...Hey Mario?" Toadette asked as she blinked, turning around to face Mario as she brushed back her pink mushroom pigtails.

"What?" Mario asked, his arms folded together.

Toadette rubbed the back of her head sheepishly with her right hand. "Why are we in a classroom?"

Mario shrugged as he shook his head. "Beats-a me. Maybe the author wanted to do something involving education."

"That sounds boring." Toadette commented as she placed her hands on her face.

"Hey! No turning around in class!" A purple Yoshi like raptor dinosaur with clear light-blue glasses and a white lab coat exclaimed, shaking his head.

Toadette turned forward as she touched her fingertips together. "Sorry Mr. Hoshi..."

"That's _Dr. Hoshi_ to you, Toadette." Dr. Hoshi commented as he sighed, shaking his head as he folded his arms. "Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus brought me back for this?"

It was a nice day in the Mushroom Kingdom, with everyone back at school at the Mushroom Kingdom High School. And in an attempt at staying relevant, Doctor Harryhausen Howard Hoshi decided to become a teacher once again. And the principal of this high school... turned out to be Toadsworth, who was too busy making toy models of pirate ships in his office.

"Come on-a, doc. Teach us something." Luigi shouted as he shook his right fist.

"Yeah, I want to learn!" Birdo chimed in agreement as she moved her hands about.

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he placed his hands on his hips, realizing where this was going. "Oh, all right. Today, we're going to learn the science of electricity."

"Boring!" The entire class sans Princess Peach Toadstool shouted loudly in unison.

Dr. Hoshi growled as he narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Why do I even bother..." He sighed as he placed his right hand on his head, shaking in disbelief.

"Wow." Donkey Kong commented as he quietly munched on his banana in his yellow backpack.

"Strange teacher." Toad mumbled as he had his arms crossed.

"Talk about having problems..." Waluigi muttered as he had his arms wrapped around the back of his head.

"D'oh I Missed the point of us being here." Wario grunted as he was scratching his butt with his left hand.,

"Something about this being a parody of the typical high school fanfics. Or something." Bowser Jr. commented as he rubbed his right hand with his left hand.

"Why can't you all just relax and chill?" Funky Kong suggested as he placed his feet on the table, his hands behind his head.

"Man, I have to go to the bathroom..." Princess Daisy muttered as she squirmed about, trying not to relief herself in her yellow dress.

"All right, can any of you idiots honestly answer what's the name of the volcanic World 8 in NSMB?" Dr. Hoshi stated as he pointed at the black chalkboard, changing topics for no reason.

Awkward silence as everyone glanced at each other, then turned to Dr. Hoshi.

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he placed his left hand on his forehead, his right hand on his hip. "Oh boy... this is going to be complicated." He then pointed at Peach. "You. Princess Toadstool."

Peach was picking her nose as she gasped, being caught off guard as she gasped. "Hmm?"

"What's the name of World 8 in NSMB?" Dr. Hoshi asked as he folded his arms.

Peach blinked as she tilted her head to the right. "Aw... did I win?"

"Idiot." Bowser scoffed as he shook his head.

"Did you say something, Bowser?" Dr. Hoshi commented as he turned to Bowser.

"No I didn't, doc." Bowser commented as he waved his hands, sighing as he quietly muttered to himself, "I knew I shouldn't of sat in front..."

"Hey Dr. Hoshi, can I go to the bathroom?" Daisy asked as she placed her hands down on her dress.

"No! You hold it in with dignity, damn it!" Dr. Hoshi shouted as he slammed a ruler on the table.

Daisy frowned as she whimpered, sniffling as she closed her eyes. "But I have to go potty..."

Princess Rosalina was about to answer, but she was squashed to death by a giant Thwomp, with everyone laughing at it as they then faced forward once again.

"I don't know what's the point of this fanfic," Dry Bowser commented as he served as a janitor.

Petey Piranha mumbled as he popped up out of the ceiling, also serving as a janitor as all of the younger characters looked at them oddly.

"So, anyone going to answer the question?" Dr. Hoshi asked as he folded his arms, tapping his right foot impatiently. "Or am I going to have to choke someone?"

"...What was the question again?" Diddy Kong chimed as he innocently whistled.

Yoshi nodded his head in agreement, his hands on his table. "Yeah, I don't remember either."

Dr. Hoshi slapped his right hand on his forehead as he groaned loudly.

* * *

It was another day at the Mushroom Kingdom High School, with Toadsworth keeping up the records in his office.

"Ho ho! These looks good!" Toadsworth commented as he folded his arms. "These records for staring at the ceiling can't be topped! I truly am a champion!"

Dry Bowser rolled his eyes as he cleaned the floors with a mop, while Petey was spewing brown goop on the wall, proceeding to pain it with green and yellow paint as he chuckled to himself.

Meanwhile in the classroom, Dr. Hoshi was trying his best to teach the students, but things just didn't go his way.

"So can anyone tell me what 2 + 2 is?" Dr. Hoshi asked as he placed his hands on his hips. "It's very simple, even Patrick Star can answer this."

"Doc, why are we having to learn all of these ridiculous things?" Toadette asked as she raised her hand, blinking as she tilted her head to the right. "Don't we just have fun and not need to learn about math and whatnot?"

Dr. Hoshi narrowed his eyes at Toadette. "Look, I'm just trying to make you guys better people. I didn't ask to be resurrected."

Princess Rosalina was about to say something, but Princess Peach Toadstool farted loudly, her blast of gas hitting Rosalina in the face. Everyone laughed at Rosalina as she sniffed in Peach's flatulence, rolling her eye as she fell on her back, fainting from how bad it smelled.

"Did I do that?" Peach commented innocently as she giggled, a cute little poot emerging out of her butt as she slightly blushed.

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he placed his right hand on his face. "Do you always have to be gassy, Princess Toadstool?"

Peach touched her fingertips as she let out another deep pitched poot, smiling. "Excuse me."

Dr. Hoshi slapped his forehead in disgust as Bowser chuckled.

"What's the matter, Harryhausen? Can't handle a little Peach nonsense?" Bowser commented as he had his arms folded.

Dr. Hoshi growled as he tapped his right foot impatiently. "What I can't handle is the stupidity of this entire fanfic. I mean, it's a high school fanfic for christ sakes. Isn't there like three or four fanfics involving Mario and high school?"

"Yeah, but this-a is different." Mario mumbled as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly with his right hand. "Sort of-a."

"Pah! Yeah right!" Waluigi scoffed as he suddenly decided to give Luigi a wedgie, with Wario laughing and pointing as Luigi cried out.

Funky Kong was still in his relaxed pose. "Can't we learn about the different island that surround us, doc?"

"Yeah, I want to know more about the place those vikings are from." Donkey Kong chimed in as he secretly ate another one of his bananas.

Bowser Jr. turned around as he eyed DK oddly. "Vikings?"

"The new enemies in Tropical Freeze." Dr. Hoshi commented as he adjusted his glasses. "Now can we please focus on having a good class? Because I'm more than willing to rot away in Yoshi Kart."

"Yoshi Kart?" Birdo gasped as she placed her right hand on her face. "Oh my, that was so long ago... I can barely remember what it was."

"I'll tell you what it was. Bullshit." Dr. Hoshi growled as he glared angrily at the ceiling. "Just like this fanfic."

"Man, you guys are making me having to go even more..." Princess Daisy chimed in as she squirmed about, still needing to use the toilet.

"Ya know, **IN THE BATHROOM!** " Yoshi joked as he laughed, pointing at Daisy.

Dr. Hoshi then chucked a green notebook at Yoshi, then turning around and slamming his head on the black chalkboard, groaning loudly.

"The worse part is that the author's going to ask for this to be dramatically read," Toad muttered as he was playing around with his pencils.

Toadette rolled her eyes at Toad. "The author asks that for nearly all his fanfics, bro." She snarkly replied, with Toad shrugging in response.

* * *

The rows were all four by four in the classroom, with the class having changed some seats. Bowser was at front in the first row, then followed by Bowser Junior, Donkey Kong, and Princess Rosalina in the back. Second row was Toadette, then Mario, Birdo, and Funky Kong. Third row was Yoshi, then Princess Daisy, Toad, and Wario. And finally, the fourth wall was Diddy Kong, then Princess Peach Toadstool, Luigi, and Waluigi. Dr. Hoshi entered the classroom as he shook his head.

"Sorry I'm late, guys. Principal Toadsworth was having some complications," Dr. Hoshi explained as he placed his books down on the desk.

"What-a the hell was he-a doing, anyway?" Mario asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he placed his right hand on his face. "Well..."

In the hallway was Toadsworth, cheering loudly as he was riding a golf cart down, causing the other studens to jump out of the way as Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha watched in disbelief, looking at each other and shrugging as they kept cleaning up.

"I'm sure you all learned something of value, yes?" Dr. Hoshi asked as he flipped through one of his books, of which was.

Peach yawned as she had her hands on her face. "I haven't learned anything at all." She burped loudly, licking her lips.

Dr. Hoshi slapped his forehead. "Unfortunately, that's predictable."

"I really have to go to the bathroom!" Daisy whimpered as she continued squirming.

Toadette turned around as she oddly looked at Daisy. "Do you really need to go so bad? You know you can pee or go poop when you're at home."

"But I don't have to go then...!" Daisy whined as tears began forming in her eyes.

"Daisy, you are contradicting your character," Donkey Kong commented while secretly munching on more bananas as he watched Wario and Waluigi pour cement into Luigi's overalls, with Waluigi pushing Luigi's green cap down on him.

Rosalina was about to comment, but she was knocked into the ceiling by a wrecking ball, groaning weakly in pain. Funky Kong didn't notice, as he was relaxing in his chair.

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he simply shook his head, sitting down and doing his best to teach the class. Which needless to say was going to be a hard, long, and annoying task.

* * *

Dr. Hoshi sighed as he was sitting at his desk, shaking his head. "I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"I don't. It's a Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus fanfic," Bowser Jr. commented as he spun around his Gadd Paintbrush.

The entire class was situated in a McDonald's that was located in the Mushroom City, with the Mushroom Kingdom High School having been evacuated due to an earthquake. Toadsworth was looking at the wrecked high school, with Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha next to him.

"Well, this is a tough pickle to clean!" Toadsworth commented as he adjusted his glasses. "Yep. Looks like you boys need to get cleaning."

Petey roared angrily as he moved his leaves about, shaking his head as he disagreed with Toadsworth.

Toadsworth chuckled as he turned around, facing Petey. "Don't fret, Petey, of course you'll get all the food you want."

Petey groaned loudly as he dropped his head, with Dry Bowser comforting him by patting the mutated Piranha Plant on the back.

"Don't feel bad, Petey. He's an old man." Dry Bowser whispered to Petey, with Toadsworth not hearing anything he muttered.

 ** _Back at the McDonald's..._**

"All right, none of you try and sneak out to eat." Dr. Hoshi commented, hearing everyone groan as he glared at the back. "That means you, Wario."

"D'oh I'm Missing a perfect opportunity," Wario growled as he shook his fists, gritting his teeth. "If only I could get my hands on a Big Mac..."

"Pfft, burgers. I want some fries, and the larger, the better!" Diddy exclaimed as he rubbed his hands together, a glow in his eyes.

Yoshi licked his lips as he rubbed the back of his head with his left hand. "You know what I could go for? Chicken nuggets. Now that's something I want to munch on."

Toadette's stomach grumbled loudly as she groaned, placing her hands on her stomach as she slightly blushed from embarrassment. "Guys, stop it, you're making me hungry..."

"And I still need a potty!" Princess Daisy exclaimed as she whimpered, shaking her head as tears came rolling down her eyes. "I don't think I can hold it in anymore! I might have an accident!"

Princess Rosalina was about to comment when she got hit in the face by a Double Cheeseburger.

"Sorry!" One of the Biddybuds exclaimed as he blinked, somehow being capable of holding a burger.

Funky Kong continued relaxing like he did as he moved his right foot about. "Just stay cool and relax. There's no need to stress out."

"Yeah, I'm with Funky on this one." Donkey Kong commented as he openly ate his bananas.

Bowser Jr. glared back at Donkey Kong. "DK! Dr. Hoshi basically said not to eat anything!"

"He was referring to McDonald's," Donkey Kong rebutted as he continued munching on his banana.

"Actually, I meant all foods, Donkey," Dr. Hoshi scolded as he murmured in annoyance.

Donkey Kong frowned as he lowered his banana bunch, feeling uncomfortable as everyone stared awkwardly at him.

Princess Peach giggled as she waved her right hand about. "McDonald's makes me gassy!" She then let out a smelly but cute little poot.

"Anything makes you gassy, Pootstool." Toad debunked as he rolled his eyes, continuing to play around with his erasers.

Luigi was about to suggest something, but he felt his overalls feeling stuffy. He gawked, looking down to see that his overalls were filled with straws.

Waluigi laughed as he placed his hands on his hips, having secretly stuffed straws into Luigi's overalls.

Bowser was scratching some doodles on his notepad, mostly of him beating up Mario. "There's a way to take your mind off the nonsense, you know."

"By drawing images of you beating me up?" Mario commented as he glanced over to see Bowser's drawing.

Birdo was readjusting her red colored bow as she did her best to stay cool and collective. "Come on, everyone, can't you just stay calm?"

"Unfortunately, given the way this fanfic is set up, that is borderline impossible." Dr. Hoshi commented as he sighed, the commotion caused by the customers and McDonald's coworkers not helping.

* * *

"So I take it that today's class will be something special, as usual?" Bowser Junior asked as he was writing down several things in his notebook.

Dr. Hoshi nodded as he was drawing on the chalkboard with a purple chalk. "Perhaps, yes." He responded as he kept drawing.

"...Then why the hell is it that we're in a desert?" Bowser asked as he moved his burly hands around.

The classroom was indeed in a desert, specifically the prepped up Dry Dry Desert as seen in Mario Kart 8, being near the watery oasis on the western end, with the high school itself still being worked on.

Speaking of which...

"If I, were king, of the _forest!_ " Toadsworth sang as he proudly stood on his desk, wearing a bad Donkey Kong outfit as he had his hands on his hips, his eyes closed. "Not Queen, not duke, not prince."

" _Duh nun nun!_ " Petey Piranha sang along in Gilbert Gottfried's voice as Dry Bowser rolled his eyes, both of them cleaning up Toadsworth's office.

"Why didn't I just go to Universal Studios..." Dry Bowser angrily muttered to himself in disappointment.

Back at the _not so dry_ Dry Dry Desert, Dr. Hoshi was trying to teach class as everyone else were acting their usual self, with Wendy O' Koopa filling in for Rosalina.

"I get taken away from the Wendy's in the Coconut Mall for this?" Wendy remarked as she had her arms crossed.

"Hey, it could be worse." Funky Kong stated to Wendy as he wrapped his arm around her. "You could be the punching bag for the author."

"...That's a good point. But it's still pretty stupid." Wendy sort of agreed as she shrugged.

Waluigi rolled a pencil around in his right hand as he yawned, feeling the desert heat. "So what stupid bullshit are we going to learn this time, doc?"

Dr. Hoshi turned around and was about to answer when a paper plane hit him in the face. Most of the class laughed as Wario chuckled, dusting off his hands together.

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself." Wario apologized as he had a smirk on his face.

Dr. Hoshi took in a deep breath as he grabbed the paper plane and sat it down on his desk. "Look, I'm not asking for much when I just want the class to be good-"

"But how can we be good? We're all _wild and crazy kids!_ " Toadette exclaimed as she raised her arms in the air with a smile on her face.

Birdo eyed Toadette as she placed her right hand on her face. "No one here is gonna get that reference."

"Well I did. Kinda. Mainly from researching about the past." Silver The Hedgehog stated as he was making an obligated cameo, holding several boxes of different pizzas. "Who ordered up?"

Luigi was about to answer when he was suddenly handcuffed, gawking as King Bob-omb and Goomboss were there.

"Thought you could get away with you petty crimes by going to school, eh?" King Bob-omb stated as he glanced down at Luigi.

Luigi gawked as he tried pulling away. "H-hey! I didn't do anything at all in this story except be treated as the butt of the joke after Rosalina!"

"And that is what lands you with _5_ years in the slammer!" Goomboss stated as he kicked Luigi in the stomach, dragging him out of the chair and into the police car as King Bob-omb drove the car.

Everyone was silent as Toadette's stomach growled loudly, with the young humanoid pink mushroom girl having both of her hands on her stomach.

"If it helps anyone, I'll pay for the pizza," Toadette remarked as she was quite famished, holding up several 20 dollar bills as she approached Silver. "Is this enough?"

Silver nodded as he exchanged the boxes of pizzas for the dollars, with Toadette thanking him as the class cheered loudly. However, Dr. Hoshi groaned and slammed his head on his desk, which caused the desk to collapse as he fell down, everyone noticing and laughing at the purple dinosaur's unfortunate plight.

* * *

Toadsworth was messing around in his office while Dry Bowser and Petey Piranha were doing their janitorial duties, with Toadette walking in as she rubbed her right arm.

"Hey... Toadsworth, do you have a WiiU?" Toadette asked as she tilted her head to the right.

Toadsworth eyed Toadette as he rubbed his chin with his left hand. "Hmm... I'm not sure. Why would I have one? It's a shitty console." He adjusted his glasses as he took a sip of his coffee. "Besides, what do you need a WiiU in class for?"

"...Because we needed it so we could smash it." Toadette remarked as she wrapped her arms around the back of her head.

Dry Bowser just rolled his eyes as he was cleaning the trophies in the trophy cases. "Why do you even care about WiiU?"

"I don't know. I think it's underrated. A bit." Toadette stated as she touched her fingertips, frowning. "Well, it does have shittier versions of games everyone's played already, but... it's okay when Nintendo does it."

"Ha ha, unfunny references!" Petey remarked as he was moping the floor.

Toadsworth then pulled out a Nintendo WiiU system, placing it on his desk table as he pressed the power button on it, causing a major explosion that destroyed the entire school.

Back in class, Dr. Hoshi was playing a sex ED video, with the others confused as to why it was playing.

 _There was not much to see in the kingdom... except a lone green shelled Koopa and Goomba were hanging out together, looking at the sunset._

 _"Sure is bright out here, huh?" The Koopa said. The Goomba nodded. "It sure is... let's have sex."_

 _"...Right here?" The Koopa commented in confusion._

 _The Goomba laughed while tackling. "Right now!"_

 _And then the Koopa and Goomba had the most generic sex you could ever see. Was it a thing of beauty? Yes. Was it bizarre? Yeah. Would anyone question why a turtle would be fucking a mushroom? Oh most certainly._

"...So what was the point of that?" Mario asked.

Dr. Hoshi shrugged, providing the final line for the story. "I have no idea. I just thought it would work."

And that was the end of the class, because the high school collapsed on itself. Don't worry they'll be fine, they are video game characters after all.

* * *

FAN: And that was the story, with Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus having changed it up to make it better, with the ending bit being new.


End file.
